Today’s #CONFESSION: “I get so lonely…” #JanetJackson

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I get so lonely
Can’t let just anybody hold me
You are the one that lives in me, my dear
Want no one but you

Sittin here with my tears
All alone with my fears
I’m wonderin if I have to do
Withoutcha
But there’s no reason why

I feel asleep late last night
Cryin like a newborn child
Holdin myself close
Pretendin my arms are yours
I want no one but you

Sometimes the loneliness creeps in when the dishes start to the pile, the laundry starts to pile, the bills start to pile and I all I want to do is bury my head in a pile of hopelessness. Because after 12 hours straight of chasing, changing, and cajoling the munchkin he’s off to bed while I’m off to stop the producers from Hoarders from calling me to schedule filming my episode. #FML

Sometimes the loneliness creeps in when the munchkin does something “mommy amazing” – my term for sh*t that only parents get excited about. The other evening I accidentally picked up my kid’s shit with my BARE hands. Needless to say shit got really really real. and warm. like a chocolate chip cookie. only not so sweet. #FML So when the munchkin finally peed in the toilet I lost my shit. Figuratively – lol No need for Depends just yet. I don’t even know what’ll I’ll do when he poos in the toilet! Bake chocolate chip cookies? Too soon? #lol

Sometimes the loneliness creeps in when all I want to do is share my shitty day #literally with someone who’ll get it i.e. my sperm donor aka baby daddy. Who else can I tell without sounding like I’ve stopped taking my meds?

But alas that’s not an option.

At least not now.

And maybe never.

xoxo,
B

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