“I’m the best thing that’s happened to you since porn.“
He said, “Definitely at least 5.” I said, “Let’s be realistic and aim for 3 – 3.5 if you finish your beer.”
3.5 minutes was wishful thinking. Even after finishing two more beers he didn’t last longer than 3 minutes. And I am definitely rounding up. So the moral of the story: liquid courage is just that – courage in the form of a liquid – not a performance enhancer. Liquor can give you wiings, but you had better know how to fly. Which is where I come in. Did I mention that in addition to my Ph.D. in the Male Anatomy that I’m also a flight instructor? Excuse my manners.
Let me introduce myself. My name is King B and I’ll be your pilot this evening. Please sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. We will be reaching our destination in 3 minutes or less – our motto is after all “Service with Speed.” It has been our pleasure to serve you and we hope you will come again.
And he did. Three times.
(If you like this, then you’ll LOVE I’m officially going to hell.)