This Christmas I’m giving myself...a BODYGUARD and an Instagram Cleanse. Huh?!? Over the last 31 years I’ve put my body through hell. Overeating, starvation diets, food comas, hangovers, and housing another human for 9 months. And if you’ve ever had a free loading house guest - you know that’s a long ass time. So this Christmas I’m giving my body the attention, love, … [Read more...]
Archive of 'THE CONFESSIONAL' Category
Can you keep a secret...
Love me, hate me Say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you seek Amy Love me, hate me But can't you see what I see? But all of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you seek Amy La, la, la, la-la, la, la, la La, la, la, la-la, la, la, la Lyrics from the Britney Spears’ song : “If U Seek Amy.” (SIDE NOTE: I just … [Read more...]
Dear White Men, First I’d like to say that you are not all guilty of the following offenses. BUT if you co-sign on this type of behavior you are an accessory. And the last time I checked that is still a crime... Now that I officially have your attention and your balls (see #5), let us begin.... 1. "Hey! Look over there, you just dropped something!”, he says. As he … [Read more...]
Buenos Dias mijo, I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. *insert a tight squeeze and facefull of kisses* This month has been filled with changes. A few of my favorites : (1) we no longer have to use the booger sucker-up-thing (aka Nose Frieda) that works perfectly on your nose... and my gag reflex, (2) you asked for 3 servings of a meal that I cooked from scratch. Ok, I … [Read more...]
Dear Michelle Obama, The first, and only time (I’m still in my feelings about not be able to buy tickets to your LA event) I heard you speak was at the 2012 OSU graduation - but please don’t tell my cousin you were the main reason I attended her graduation. 😂 Your words inspired me, but your delivery - the power that you so effortless exuded as … [Read more...]