I don't know about you but I've been asked several times for a striptease. I don't know what about my personality makes men think that I am the type of girl who likes to slowly take of her clothes while they oogle my love handles and thunder thighs. #hotmess But in the spirit of compromise I've had to figure out how to make their fantasy become a reality without losing my … [Read more...]
Archive of 'DAILY SPECIALS!' Category
Serving up daily specials...well, no not daily, more like twice a week for now with the potential for more. Don't give me that look - I'm just being honest. I thought we had that kind of relationship...
"I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and pray for a miracle." I swear I think dieting is like a rite of passage that every girl must endure. only I never "passed" through this stage. #fml I have spent the last 10+ years obsessed with reaching my "dream" weight. and by obsessed I mean my life has revolved around eating, then not eating. then eating. and eating. … [Read more...]
"Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass." I love surprises. Except when they come through the back door...or down my throat. And no, I am not referring to an appendage usually found on the male anatomy...at least not this time. #hotmess I'm talking about summer and strep throat. #fml While I recognize that summer is a season, not a person for the … [Read more...]
"Always trust people who like big butts....They cannot lie." Ok ladies and possibly gentlemen.... Let me tell you my dirty, not-so-little secret: I'm obsessed with Iggy Azalea. Obsesssssssssed. We all know that I love ratchetness to the maximum. And Iggy is the Queen of Ratchet. #bowdown #nobasicsbitchesallowed Screw #WCW (WomenCrushWednesdays) I don't have a … [Read more...]
"↠HUNGER GAMES↞What a great theme for our reunion!" I feel like I'm back in college trying to get a paper finished before the midnight deadline. And by before, I mean 11:59 pm. If I told you all the deviant ways I cheated the system they might try to take my college degree back. #notakebacks I don't know about you, but nothing motivates me more to get into peak physical … [Read more...]