That’s how I love to start my Saturday mornings. Nothing snaps you out of hangover quite like being compared to soiled menstrual pad. So what should I aspire to smell like – an unused tampon? in or out of the wrapping? light, regular, or super? So many options! And to think that my mother and I are actually getting along right now.
You know how people always talk about brutal honesty – well my mother isn’t brutally honest – she’s just…well….brutal. Whitney (from the the Tv show Southern Comfort) said it best, “Mom would have made a great dictator.” So in appreciation of all my mother’s inappropriate remarks, unmasked insults, and strong disapproval of…well….EVERYTHING I have bestowed her with the title of: The Dictator.
I finally understand why people seek political asylum.
(If you like this, then you’ll LOVE “Dear God. Please let me know if I like penis or vagina. Amen”)
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